The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People | Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

 

Unlock the Secret to Elevated Leadership by Listening

Great leaders don't just hear words, they listen with the intent to understand. Covey explains that mastering the skills of authentic leadership requires empathy, patience, and the willingness to fully grasp another person's perspective before offering our own insights.

In the chaos of the workplace, truly listening can be a real challenge, but when done right, it's a game-changer. Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People highlights this in Habit 5 - "Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood."

Leaders create trust and collaboration by prioritizing understanding what is being said. This approach is crucial in making informed decisions, resolving conflicts, and fostering a culture where people feel genuinely heard.

 

What does "Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood" mean?

Habit 5 is centered around empathetic listening, not just to words, but to the emotions and concerns behind them.

Practicing this habit requires leaders to:

• Practice Active Listening
  Don't interrupt! And make sure to summarize what someone has said before adding your two cents.
   

• Ask More Questions
  Before offering advice, ask open-ended questions to better understand the context and emotions behind the message, like, "Can you elaborate on that?" or "What bothers you most about this situation?"
   

• Act with Empathy
  In difficult discussions, recognize emotions before presenting your perspective. Saying things like "I understand why this is frustrating for you" helps to reduce tensions and build rapport.

 

Jon Harry's Perspective on Habit 5 in Leadership

Jon Harry, Executive Agenda Group Chair, has seen firsthand how Habit 5 transformed his leadership style. Early in his career, he was confident in articulating ideas and driving discussions. However, he had an a-ha moment when he realized that the most successful leaders spend more time listening than talking.
 

"I used to enter conversations ready to present my point of view and persuade others. But Covey's principle helped me shift my approach. When I consciously tried to listen and understand first, I saw a remarkable change in my team's engagement and trust. People responded better when they felt heard, and solutions became more collaborative."

_{~ Jon Harry, Executive Agenda Group Chair}

Taking Habit 5 into the office has many benefits

• Resolve Team Conflicts
  When disagreements arise about how things should be done, leaders who integrate Habit 5 will guide a discussion where everyone expresses their perspective without interruption. It's tempting to jump in with a plan to solve the problem. But, by first focusing on understanding both sides, common ground is realized, and a more strategic solution that benefits the entire team is born.
   

• Strengthen Client Relationships
  It's frustrating when a client voices concerns about a project. Of course, a knee-jerk reaction is to defend the work. But when a leader listens without interference and asks follow-up questions to fully understand what the struggles are, your client feels heard. When that happens, misunderstandings are addressed more successfully, adjustments are made, and often, the relationship is strengthened.
   

• Enhance Your Leadership Presence
  By taking Habit 5 to heart and being fully present in conversations, putting away distractions and giving people your full attention, leaders' connections become more meaningful, increasing their credibility, and creating stronger, more engaged teams.

Covey's Habit 5 is not just a communication tool. It's a leadership philosophy that promotes trust, engagement, and long-term success.

 

Up next: Creating synergy with Habit 6

In our next post, we'll explore Habit 6, Synergize, and how welcoming diverse perspectives leads to ground-breaking solutions and stronger teams.

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